Monday, January 29, 2007
im such a fool!i know jon dun hav those intentions but mayb cos i yearned for it too much n got carried away..so nw i think if possible lets jus remain as friens.dunno y jus feel so down mayb becos of him.today off stayed at hm did dad's work.however he saw me watching tv in e morning so he scolded me..nt surprisring.nvr scold den weird.bt i don care i finish liao but sure bound to hav a lot of mistakes de la..haiz..i think my 230 to 330 de show today last..lucky i took today off n watch it.haha..hasent been in gd terms w God this few wks n days..i feel i think im backsliding..feel so hard oso to get to him tok n stuff..so u noe where my status nw..backsliding huh..haiz..don want go church don want go cell!im tired really tired.i jus want to stop everything here.die nw.i wanna cry but i cried ytd when bathing in e toilet.where else can i go?really realise i really dun hav someone v v close to me who i can turn to n trust.mayb there is lyk meryl..athena baby..but i jus feel hard to go to them though i was alrdy chatting v athena at tt moment.i jus feel so arrgg w myself i donno hw to say u noe im nvr gd in words.y?y aft i tried so hard everything is back to square?im living a life jus lyk a circle but i thot life shdnt b a circle instead it has no joins n u cant see e end.circle oso cant i know but circles jus brings u back to where u was orginally jus squares.mayb life shd b a line.nt straight or a wave..something lyk sound waves u study in science..i really tried to change.but this e ending.i donno wht to say to God..think satan mus b damn happi nw..but tts it..im stuck.real lonely..i dun even hav a close friend..say ar..isnt it..haiz..i really hav no life..sad..
yourname skrybbled
